We haven’t yet had Thanksgiving here yet; that happens tomorrow. I’m trying not to eat today, in preparation, which is a great plan except that I keep getting hungry.

So while all of you in the States are figuring out exactly what onedoes with leftover green-bean casserole, let me tell you about a recent event in my life where I felt a lot like what maybe a slice of bread feels like in a toaster.

Yes, that’s right. I went for an MRI. And it went sort of like this:

Click. Whirrr. Clicketyclick.
This isn’t so bad. I mean, really. People exaggerate so much. A panic button? The technician gave me a panic button? That’s so silly. It’s..oh wow. The ceiling of this thing is really low. Wow. I’ll just close my eyes. There. That’s better.

clicketyclickety chunkachunkachunkachunkchunkCHUNKACHUNKACHUNK

holy crap that’s loud. Like jackhammers. Good lord really loud, they should warn you about how LOUD IT IS wait just breathe breathe WAIT NOT TOO BIG A BREATH HE SAID DON’T MOVE.

thunkathunkathunkathunka clickclickclick buzzzzzTHUNKPLONKPLONKCLICK

Don’t move? howam I’m NOT SUPPOSED TO MOVE? This thingy around my shoulder is killing me, it’s exactly why I’m here, because my shoulder is so sore and now this thing is digging into–wait. It’s quiet. Is it over– THUNKTHUNKTHUNKTHUNK

not over. Oh shit opened my eyes that ceiling is really close, is it getting closer, close my eyes, don’t panic it’s really a very small space, and my feet are going numb I swear they’re going numb don’t move don’t breathe be STILL dammit


Panic button? no, wait, then I’d just have to start over do NOT push the panic button just breathe but not too much breathe hold still verysmallinhereohshitdoihaveclaustrophobia




And a good thing, too, because if that exam had last even a minute longer, I’d have been toast.


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