Caleb has boundless faith in my intellectual capacities. I am, in short, his google. (Momoogle?) And while I’m flattered that he thinks I have the answers to everything, you know what? If I ever knew the answers to even half these questions, by now, in my late middle age? I’ve forgotten pretty much everything.

A recent walk:

Where did the earth come from? I mean, not just the earth but the stuff ON the earth?

When England and France fought each other why were they fighting? Did they burn Joan of Arc in England? Why did they burn her?  Did they torture her first?

If a bomb rains fire down on you doesn’t the fire go out before it reaches the earth? Then how does the bomb kill people?

Who is the king of the Egyptian gods? Is there a king god?

So London is a city and it’s the capital of England? Is there a capital of the world? Why not?  What is Abu Dhabi the capital of?

Why did money start? What started money?  Why do we have it?

Do those London soldiers, the Beefer people with black hats carry real guns? Why not? If they’re not real how can they guard against thieves and bad guys?  Then who is the real guard for the queen?

Why is the ocean salty? No, I mean, where did the salt COME FROM? How did it get into the ocean?

The observatory place in England said everything is stardust, so does that mean salt is stardust?  Are WE stardust?

How do they get the salt out of the ocean?

How fast is the moon spinning and could it ever spin faster than the earth?

Why do people become Muslim? Why do people believe in god?

If I became a Muslim would I wear those white things on my head? I like those.  Maybe I will be a Muslim and drive a big car.


See? Now you’re tired too.