I needed sugar cookie dough for Christmas cookie decorating.  Had already had a morning of cooking dementia–pot of soup, two loaves of bread–and no way in hell was I making dough from scratch.  Ran to the store and got Betty’s sugar cookie mix, which actually tastes reasonably home-made (probably due to the fact that you add an entire stick of butter to the mix).

We all know, of course, that half the fun (most of the fun?) of making cookie dough is–duh–eating the batter. Betty Crocker says not so fast, whippersnappers. Fingers OUT of that bowl. Note warning label on package:

I mean really, if you can’t eat the dough, what’s the point? And what leads to such a warning being posted?  Did someone seriously die as a result of Betty Crocker sugar cookie dough?

So many questions. I pondered them all while licking the dough off the spatula.

It’s the holidays. I’m living on the edge.