In New York, if your child goes to a public elementary school that ends at 5th grade, this fall marks the beginning of “let’s look for a middle school.” In several cultures (including mine,) this phrase translates to “but life is already full of chaos and now you want me and my kid to find time to tour five, six, ten middle schools, fill out applications, schedule interviews, and then wait until May to find out where my kid has been placed?”

Luckily, however, the DOE has figured out to make things easier for all these fifth-grade families by putting the “Directory of Middle Schools for District 2” online, so you can find just the right school for your darling genius angel child. The directory even includes a map, so you can see just how far your D.G.A.C. will have to travel in order to experience the joy of being crammed in a classroom with 32 other 6th graders.

Here’s the map page from the DOE booklet:


What’s that you say? I must have made a mistake taking a screenshot of this page?

Nope, not this time. Can’t blame me, the hapless techno.

The page is blank.

The DOE. Always finding ways to make the simple, complicated.